First off, it doesn’t really fit into the continuity of the DCEU (who cares at this point, I guess) so it feels more of a pure sequel than part of a larger universe (to its credit) and star Gal Gadot again eturns as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman.

We open with a flashback of a young Diana taking part in a triathlon of sorts in Themyscira but after taking a shortcut is told "no true hero is born from lies" which is thematically referenced through the rest of the film. Jumping to 1984, Diana now works at the Smithsonian alongside the reserved Barbara Ann Minerva (Kristin Wiig) and foils a robbery of ancient artifacts in a mall before we discover that one antiquity is the mysterious "Dreamstone". 

Using this, Diana wills Steve Trevor back into existence before Barbara uses it to become more like Wonder Woman. I have to admit I kind of admire its guts to use this ridiculous plot device to get the likeable Chris Pine back in the role after *spoiler* you know, dying.

Failing businessman Maxwell "Max Lord" Lorenzano (a Trump cypher played VERY broadly by current Mandalorian Pedro Pascal) also gets involved and literally inherits the stone’s power to get whatever he wants.

If all that sounds fantastical and kind of haphazard, well you have the movie in a nutshell. I’ve seen DC cartoons with more realistic plots and it’s such a shame that none of it really coalesces into anything vaguely consistent.

Later on, Barbara becomes cheetah-like in her hopes to become an apex predator and her fight with Wonder Woman is pure underlit CGI dross and looks as real as you’d think a computer-generated cat versus an armoured ‘eagle lady’ would.

The nonsense is all topped with a fair bit of social commentary (war, capitalism, indulgence) – but done in a very ham-fisted way that is hugely at odds with the fantasy elements – and as admirable as they are, are lost against a barrage of day-glow babble.

The acting is mostly fine and the action (which has come in for much online criticism) was actually one of my favourite parts. Yet just as it gets interesting, it disappoints again. Especially Wiig’s Barbara, who turns from the bespectacled and over-looked scientist to becomes a supervillain. This is the laziest trope and has often failed to work before. I don’t want to be reminded of the awful memories that are Edward Nigma in Batman Forever, Electro in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and even Guy’s Pearce in Iron Man 3 which was that film’s biggest flaw.

As we hit the end, the repetitious teal and orange colour scheme is back from the first film (our review here) and at 151 minutes, 84 feels like the number of years watching from start to finish. (Insert “It’s been 84 years…” Titanic meme here).

The opening mall scene hinted upon the kitsch and almost comedic direction I hoped the film would lean into but at its conclusion, I came away feeling that Wonder Woman 1984 takes you less to the 80s and more to the bad superhero flicks of the late 90s. Better luck next time. 

★★