On paper the cast seem vastly overqualified for a film of this stature, however I wouldn’t say any of the actors provided very impressive performances at all. This again is mostly down to the script that makes all conversations seem very forced and unnatural. One laughably cringe inducing line that particularly pushed me over the edge was Judi Dench exclaiming “top of the morning” as she arrived in Ireland. Furthermore, without wanting to sound too harsh to a young actor, Ferdia Shaw’s portrayal of Artemis was almost as uninteresting as I found the character to be. It came across as amateurish and I could almost see him reciting the lines of the script which took me out of the events unfolding on screen. 

The flashy effects will quite possibly keep children entertained however after watching this film it was clear to see why Disney have chosen to dump it onto their streaming service rather than push it’s original theatrical release date back to when cinemas have reopened. It’s a black spot on the list of Disney’s traditionally reliable creations and on Director Kenneth Branagh’s previously impressive filmography. Judging from the criticism of Artemis Fowl, I am doubtful this will turn into the Harry Potter-esque franchise I think it was intended to become.

★★