Midlands Movies Worst Films of 2019

midlandsmovies • December 11, 2019

Midlands Movies Worst 10 Films of 2019

10) Alita: Battle Angel (2019) Dir. Robert Rodriguez

What we said: “There’s so much CGI that the human characters inserted in the film feel almost unneeded and a distraction in themselves. But it's Alita's facial construction, whose eyes and face are computer-generated beyond all recognition which actually turned me off from the screen regularly. Sadly, as the Alita android is found amongst a big pile of junk and hastily put together, the film mirrors this in its themes, tone and dull execution”.

9) Godzilla: King of the Monsters

What we said: “Fans said they wanted more Godzilla in their Godzilla film, but unfortunately this was added at the expense of everything else. With an offensive colour palette making every shot look like cloudy vomit, it seems that at the end of the day if you make a film that looks terrible then people are going to assume it is one. It’s like walking into work wearing clown shoes. That CGI artist team talk in full – “whatever you do guys and gals, don’t put in more than 70% effort”. A monster mess”.

8) Killers Anonymous (2019) Dir. Martin Owen

What we said: “It could have worked as a more serious chamber piece but in the end it sticks to a bland unsatisfying middle-ground. How Oscar-winner Gary Oldman got involved in this is anyone's guess. In the end, what could have worked as a one-off ITV drama is not cinematic enough for the ideas it has. And sadly, this more than tiresome movie tries to be a big screen blockbuster but is much more of a lacklustre little screen disappointment”.

7) The Curse of La Llorona (2019) Dir. Michael Chaves

What we said: “It’s another dull entry into The Conjuring universe and is based on Mexican folklore where a supernatural entity attempts to steal children from their families. Mixing silly superstitions with godawful jump scares, the film’s filled to the brim with obvious 'quiet-then-loud' sequences and is the kind of PG-13 horror that is over-done and has been seen dozens of times before. Set your expectation level to “underwhelmed” and then still prepare yourself for a bit of a knock”.

6) Domino (2019) Dir. Brian De Palma

What we said: “At just 89 minutes this crime thriller feels twice as long and stars Game of Throners Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Carice van Houten who are investigating the death of a Danish police officer. I don’t want to give away any spoilers about Domino but literally nothing happens. Combined with a troubled production and a star or two dropping out, this ramshackle made-for-TV level movie is lacklustre and dull. It seems the director’s strategy of not caring at all about his utterly useless movie hasn’t paid the handsome dividends he might have hoped for”.

5) Triple Threat

What we said: “Wasting the talents of the excellent Iko Uwais (The Raid), Tony Jaa (Ong Bak) and Tiger Chen (Man of Tai Chi) for starters, the film is an incomprehensible and extremely boring set of action beats seen a billion times before. Choppy editing, absent characterisation and story and really naff fight sequences, this would be an embarrassment without the action legends present. With their involvement, the film is a far far worse crime".

4) Replicas (2019) Dir. Jeffrey Nachmanoff

What we said: “What is up with Keanu Reeves career making decisions? For every critical and commercial success he then opts to star in something so awful it beggars belief. A $30 million dollar failure, this film sees Reeves as William Foster, a scientist who breaks the law to clone his family members after they perish in a vehicle accident. Sadly the film contains every plot cliché you can imagine and, whether it’s the script (likely) or the direction, Alice Eve as his wife gives a simply atrocious performance. And despite its attempts to tackle deeper issues of loss, humanity and family, the film is mostly reminiscent of the bold boringness of Transcendence. Avoid”.

3) Under the Silver Lake (2019) Dir. David Robert Mitchell

What we said: “The plot, if you can decipher it, involves Andrew Garfield investigating the sudden disappearance of his neighbour Riley Keough, but during his escapades uncovers a large and complicated conspiracy. Although it’s never really boring, it’s always awful. The only reason I watched right to the end of the credits was because I was hoping to get a fucking apology. I didn't”.

2) Angel Has Fallen (2019) Dir. Ric Roman Waugh

What we said: “A frankly out-of-shape Gerard Butler returns in this third instalment in the Fallen film series following Olympus Has Fallen (the number 10 entry of our worst films of 2013) and London Has Fallen (the number ONE entry in our worst films of 2016) again playing secret service agent Mike Banning. What we have then is an unexciting, monotonous and dreary “action” film whose 2-hour runtime feels like 2 weeks. Fans may find something in this that I didn’t get out of it, but for general audiences, the franchise should fall into retirement as soon as possible”.

1) Backtrace (2018) Dir. Brian A. Miller

What we said: “How does Stallone even get involved in films this bad? Sure, Nic Cage has made a ton of straight-to-VOD pish but at least they look like films. So, a January film already laying claim to the worst of 2019? Well, one positive is that maybe Stallone can better himself by improving on his third place position for Escape Plan 2 on our least favourite films of 2018 list and claim the top spot this year instead. Good luck. But, with 12 months to go, this film is so bad that Stallone is in with a VERY good chance of being the best of the worst”. Editor - And he was!

Michael Sales

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Our resident local film critic @_jacob.holmes headed off beyond the region's boundaries to the BFI London Film Festival. In our latest Midlands on the Move feature, Jacob shares some helpful hints for first timers, as he provides a guide for local filmmakers and film fans as to what to expect when visiting events further afield... In 2025 I had the honour of attending the 69 th BFI London Film Festival for a week, I attending premieres for some of my most anticipated films of the year. And even grabbed a press pass too. This wasn’t my first film festival, but this was my first London Film Fest and to be brutally honest, in the build-up, I was nervous! Sadly, I found the BFI and Accreditation websites not very intuitive and quite confusing. So this this article hopes to give some peace of mind and let people know what they can expect when attending such UK festivals - both as a regular guest and as press. Tickets Getting regular tickets can be stressful, akin to a big concert. And in a way it's like the Hunger Games, a survival of the fittest type of vibe. First off, BFI advertise tickets go on sale at 10am in September, which is true but not wholly accurate. Instead, at 9am you head to the website and get put in a waiting room with a random allocated number for when the actual sale start at 10am. At that time it tells you where you are in the queue. If you get lucky, you could wait 15 minutes, but often the wait can be an hour plus. Finally when you can make a purchase, you are let in and can put all tickets into your basket. I have two years of experience with this queue! The first time, I failed completely and all movies I wanted to see were sold out. But this year I had a plan! The key to success is knowledge to how to play the game. Tip 1: For the best possible chances, subscribe to the BFI and become a member. The year membership was £35 at its cheapest. And if you're in the Midlands like I am, outside the festival a membership can be fairly useless unless you go to London often. But what this membership gives you is important. A week before general release there is a presale for BFI members. Not only is this a benefit, it also gives you a crucial second chance. By that I mean if things don't go your way the first time, you can try again in the general sale. And I had to do exactly this. When general admissions came out, I tried again for tickets for Wake Up Dead Man and got my ticket! Tip 2: Quantity. There's nothing against the rules saying you can’t enter the queue on multiple devices! I was placed very low down in the queue in my first year on one laptop, but this year I used my phone, PC, laptop, my friend's laptops AND my friends' devices! But it all paid off. Devices can take 2 hours or only 30 minutes. More Devices = Higher chance of getting tickets. Tip 3: Know the films you want to see beforehand. If you don’t know what films you want to see or when they screen you will be completely lost. Write a timetable - and furthermore, have back up plans. Sometimes you'll click on what you want and it will be sold out, but having a backup plan will be much easier overall. Tip 4: Even if you don’t get tickets, it's not the end of the world. There are plenty of second-hand ticket websites selling tickets at normal (or sometimes cheaper) prices. Websites like Twickets, social media accounts like @LFFstubs on X or the r/londonfilmfestival on Reddit will have second-hand tickets. In fact, I sold one of my tickets on Twickets and had no complaints either. Press passes As you can imagine, this process is very different for industry passes. The biggest issue is tickets go on sale in waves each day. Instead of one go, pass holders book their tickets day by day. Tickets go on sale at 8am two days before, usually taking place on the accreditation app or website. In some ways this is easier, but it's also a gigantic pain. Although it's MUCH easier to get a ticket, do have to wake up every single day to go onto a laggy website and book a few tickets. You may even have to book tickets in the cinema. Another issue can be if you plan to see both general and press screenings. One you book way in advance, but press screenings are booked during the fest. Ticket prices for public screenings vary, but the gala/premiere screenings are usually £30-£40. Whilst the press screenings are completely free, you just have to pay for the pass itself which is around £55.
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