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Midlands Movies Worst Sequels of All Time

By midlandsmovies, Jan 13 2015 04:52PM

The Worst Sequels of All Time


With a mix of franchise balls-ups and delayed sequels as well as the truly horrid unnecessary follow up, here is my countdown of 30 of my least favourite sequels of all time with a few reasons why.


Sorry for those wanting to see Matrix Reloaded (the action saves it for me), X-Men: Last Stand (it’s pap but finishes the story fine for me) or Terminator: Salvation (it’s not the worst in the franchise by a long way) but I hope there’s plenty of others that got on your nerves without spoiling too many of your favourite films. From classics to straight-to-video, you’ll also find no prequels here (so no Phantom Menace or Dumb and Dumber: When Harry Met Lloyd) but definitely some of those WTF were they thinking moments and the always difficult to accept changing of established cast members.


Let the countdown begin..


30-21

30. The Exorcist 2 – replace the horror with grasshoppers and “visions” and you lose any audience that may have come with you from the original.

29. Rocky V – a franchise killer with Stallone casting family members unable to act in key roles.

28. Star Trek V – seriously old men camping in coats talking to God in this “action” sci-fi.

27. Spider-Man 3 – as a big fan of the Raimi-helmed web-slinger it pains me to include this but a duffer it is with far too many villains and THAT emo-Peter Parker dance scene. Tingling.

26. Son of the Mask – remove the excellent Jim Carrey and replace with Jamie Kennedy. That’ll work. No, it didn’t. It really didn’t.

25. Teen Wolf Too – replacing Michael J Fox with Jason Bateman was this film’s worst crime.

24. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps – *spoiler warning* bad enough was a belated sequel no one cared even slightly about, but the original provocateur Oliver Stone concludes his movie with a ridiculous happy ending. This from the man who brought us Natural Born Killers, JFK and Platoon. Unforgiveable.

23. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo – a contender not because it spoilt the original – a mildly amusing gross-out farce – but because it could be the least funny comedy ever on screen.

22. Staying Alive – do you want to see a sweaty John Travolta in a leotard trying to make it as a dancer on Broadway directed by Sly Stallone? Nope. Neither did anyone else.

21. Sin City 2 – possibly the dullest sequel for sure and one that missed its chance of success by nearly a decade too late.


20-11

20. Robocop 3

Different actor for Robocop? Check. Directed by someone with no pedigree at all? Check. Ninjas? What the fuck but yes, check. Flying Robocop? Why the fuck not?! All the ingredients for a right old fuck up were here and present as Verhoeven’s original is stripped of any edge for a future children’s audience. You have the right to remain terrible.


19. S. Darko

Seriously. Whose idea was this? It’s such a mind bending decision that I would have rather seen a film about that than the absolute knock-off/money-grabbing sequel that was released.


18. Blues Brothers 2000

The terrible replacement of a beloved character (in which the actor died no less) is no way to begin thinking about creating a sequel 20 years after a classic. Add some worse musicians, an annoying kid and a rubbish plot and you have one of the lamest films from John “Trading (I forgot he was once good) Places” Landis.


17. Jaws 2/Jaws 3-D/Jaws: The Revenge

A truly special entry for 3 films that are all terrible in their own unique ways. Jaws 2 was always going to live in the shadow of its classic forerunner, whilst 3 added a low budget gimmick and terrible effects to the proceedings. The final mess of a film is universally despised (and rightly so) with the pissed off piscine hunting its prey and swimming 2000 miles in 3 days to do so. A franchise fail of great white proportions.


16. Grease 2

The not-needed sequel to the only musical film I really love was a huge mistake and not even one of my favourite actresses, Michelle Pfeiffer, can save this monstrosity. Throw in a few cameos from supporting characters (i.e. the only people who needed the money) and you’ve got a film that is far from supreme.


15. Matrix: Revolutions

Along the same lines as a film we’ll see later on the list, Revolutions thought more complexity equalled more interest. As we spend even less time in The Matrix (including an opening set in a limbo-representing subway, remember that shit?) the plight of Zion becomes something we care less and less about until an overblown fight and disappointing ending got the whole debacle over with and left us with the fading memory of that amazing first film.


14. Highlander 2

A legendary bad sequel that not only was a bad film, it totally changed the concept of the film before by including an alien back-story that made little or no sense. It would be higher in the charts if I was a bigger fan of the first but I know a duffer of a sequel when I see one and feel the pain of a once-beloved film being shat on.


13. Scream 4

A big fan of the original films (even 2 & the misjudged 3), here was a belated sequel literally no-one was crying out for – maybe except Courtney Cox’s accountants. With some behind-the-times allusions to cyberspace and celebrity culture, the first trilogy’s self-referential tone was lost amongst Epic Movie style pop culture “jokes” and zero scares.


12. Transformers 2

I’ve mentioned elsewhere my unapologetic and superficial enjoyment of the first Transformers film but by the sequel we were already seeing where this franchise was going. With less emphasis on the humans, more focus on comedy, a 2 ½ hour runtime and more product placement than you could shake a stick at, this sequel set the new low- standard for the others that came next.


11. American Psycho 2

Didn’t know this film exists? Well it does and this direct-to-video movie has Mila Kunis (of Black Swan fame) killing fellow students for a good grade. It also stars, wait for it, William Shatner. An absolute mess of a sequel and the pinnacle of low (no) budget filler follow ups.


10-1

10. The Godfather Part 3

It’s going to be difficult to follow up the Oscar winning original and the lauded sequel but what you shouldn’t do is wait nearly 20 years, give a key role to your unable to act daughter and not include one of your main protagonists (Robert Duvall). Despite 7 Oscar nominations and a large budget, this is rightly hailed as a template for why sequels can fail.


9. Terminator 3

I will still never understand the hate for Salvation whilst Rise of the Machines is in existence. Arnie’s “comedy” robot, Nick Stahl’s annoying Connor and SFX somehow worse than T2, this film should have been so much better but a disappointment was all we got.


8. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

I literally still have no idea what went on in this film. Part 4 was bad but at least had a self-contained story. This third part lost its navigation and do you remember that bit with Jack Sparrow as a chicken or talking to a goat? Well, it’s there and we’ve collectively blocked out this appalling stinker.


7. Alien vs Predator: Requiem

Watching this revealed one of those moments where you literally stop and think “how did we get here?” From the TV-soap opera cast and awful “story” we are light years away from Ridley Scott’s original space horror.


6. Blair Witch Project 2

A sequel to the infamous found footage horror ditched the main conceit of that film – the found footage aspect – and made a sequel with such bad acting and lack of connection with the previous film that its surprising it was even released as a sequel at all . Bland Witch Project.


5. Superman IV

An interesting one as I kind of remember enjoying this as a kid but a recent rewatch showed up the huge lack of budget and hilariously abysmal special effects. Heck some of the shots were even reused within the film. An absolute franchise killer for almost 20 years. Super!


4. Speed 2: Cruise Control

This is one of those completely unnecessary sequels that not only moved the exciting freeway-speeding concept to a rather slow boat, it lost its biggest star and still got a cinema release! The only remarkable thing was the speed in which the quality went from classic action to box office bomb.


3. Batman and Robin

I was such a huge childhood fan of Batman that when I hired this film from the shop, the 15-year old me turned it off halfway through and took it back the same day. Well done 15 year old me and I stand by that decision to this day.


2. Ocean’s Twelve

As a huge fan of the first heist movie, it lost everything that made that movie fun and its worst crime was Julia Roberts playing a character who gets mistaken for Julia Roberts by Bruce Willis. Yes, that’s the level of this film.


1. Die Hard 5

If you ever want a franchise killer, here’s one. Nothing like any of the previous films, Willis (showing up in spots 2 and 1) sleepwalks through a PG-level film making it my worst film of that year and the worst sequel ever since. My hatred of this film is immense and if it were possible, Die Hard 5 should be on its own list whereby if you have seen it you can get your mind wiped of its badness as in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.


Midlands Movies Mike

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